Choices Of Love
by iloveRedX
Summary: I asked Robin to choose, and he chose her... Now i choose to take my life.But a certain thief stops me and maybe he can help me overlook Robin. R&R omg pllleaassee read i beg of you ill give you a cookie :
1. Five More Steps

**Hey, so this is my… 5****th**** story since I have been on this site. It is also my second Rae/Red story. **** I know I haven't updated on anything in a while but my computer has been gay and I have been under a lot of stress with an upcoming surgery I am having. **** Anyway please read and review (you know the usual). I do appreciate my faithful readers. So tell me; do you feel this will be a good story. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, I own nothing. **

**BTW: This is short. So sorry**

Five more steps….. Five more thoughts I could think before….before the end. Before I would end this unfair and painful life, but could I do it? Am I strong enough to walk right off the end of this cliff that overlooks the ocean leading into my strong city? I used to think that the city was beautiful, and I used to feel the need to protect it. As I, Raven, look at it now, all I see is a cage holding me there. I wanted an escape, somewhere to drown all my troubles.

Step 1…. I thought of the very night I told Robin, the Titans leader, of my feelings.

"_Robin," I called tentatively knocking on his door. It was late, around 1 in the morning and I would have feared he was asleep if not for the light coming from under his door. I heard footsteps, and then the door opened, revealing my handsome and strong leader. He was in his mask and pajama pants, leaving a perfect view of his well sculpted chest. I blushed, and I was glad I had yet to remove my hood. _

"_Raven? Is everything ok," he asked and opened his door wider. I shook my head yes and slightly toyed with the seams on my cloak. _

"_Yes, everything is fine, but I was wondering if we could….talk," I asked as I removed my hood and showed him a small smile. He smiled and stepped out of the door, letting me pass. I heard the swoosh of the doors behind me as I took a seat in his desk chair. He sat on the bed in front of me and we shared a comfortable silence while I tried to gather my thoughts. _

"_Raven, are you sure you don't have something to say," he asked as he felt my jumble of emotions run through our bond. I sighed and turned to look at him strait on. _

"_Ok, Robin, I do have something I want to say. I just…don't know how to say it," I said slightly blushing and Robin chuckled. _

"_It must be something pretty serious because you are never at a loss for words," he said gently reaching to put a hand on my shoulder. "Rae, you know you can tell me anything." I nodded my head yes and took a deep calming breath. _

"_Robin, the thing is, I have come to a recent…discovery of my feelings for a….certain member on the team," I said peeking at him from under my eye lashes. I watched as his face went into one of shock and brief glance of pain. We stared at each other for a minute, eyes meeting mask. Finally he seemed to come to his senses and put on a smile, but it looked fake. _

"_That's great Rae. I'm glad you found someone you are….interested in," he said as he stood up and walked over to his dresser. "But what has this to do with me?" I blushed and thanked Azar he wasn't looking. _

"_Well, that's the thing, it has everything to do with you," I whispered knowing he would hear it regardless. I watched as the shirt he had fell from his fingers. He slowly turned to look at me and I met his gaze, knowing that I would look weak if I backed down. His face was a mask of shock and confusion. _

"_Are you saying, that you…. 'like' me," he said still not moving. I shrugged and tried to calm my rapid beating heart. _

"_More or less," I commented watching as he ran a hand through his hair. He stared at me a minute more before walking over to stand in front of me. He knelt down to my level and I shrunk back from his gaze._

"_Raven, I like you too," he said and my heart swelled and I slightly smiled. I opened my mouth to say something but he continued. "but…" _

"_No, no, no, no, no, no but," I thought to myself._

"_But," he said. "I also harbor feelings for Star." I made sure my face remained in that smile, but on the inside, I was dying. Tormented thoughts rushed through my head so fast even I couldn't register them._

"_Yeah, I know," I whispered pulling my head down, my eyes away from his gaze. "I…I just thought that it would be easier on me if you knew before talking to her." He said nothing for a while and when I looked up he was studying me curiously. Finally a determined look came across his face. He lifted my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine. My heart stopped and my eyes shot wide open. My first kiss….. I closed my eyes and went along with him, tentatively putting my hands on his chest. I trailed them up to his shoulders and felt him moan in return. When I ran out of air I pulled back and watched as his chest fell up and down. _

"_Raven, I'm glad you told me, but now there's a choice I must make," he said pushing my hair back from my face. I nodded and stood up, him with me. _

"_Maybe, Star shouldn't know about this, or my feelings," I said and he nodded but brought my lips in for another kiss. _

"_I'll tell you of my choice before I act on it," he said leading me to the door. I smiled and walked back to my room; thinking about there might be a chance. _

I smiled at how stupid and naive I had been to think that.

Step 2…..

"_Good morning Rae," Cyborg said to me as I walked in the kitchen a week later. I smiled and went to fix my cup of tea as BB bust through the door. _

"_Dude, I wanted to fix tofu for breakfast," he complained seeing the meat platter Cy had fixed. _

"_Beast Boy, I don't think your tofu is suitable for a day of celebration," Cy said smiling as he fixed the table. _

"_Celebration? For what," I asked as I took a sip of my tea. BB laughed and went to play video games. _

"_Didn't Robin tell you? He went to ask out Star last night," he said cheery. My heart stopped, my hands went numb, the cup falling to the floor, shattered. "Raven?" I heard my name but didn't pay any means to it. He hadn't told me, he had made his choice, but he had lied to me. I felt a surge of sadness wash through me completely shocking me. I walked out the kitchen door, leaving a stunned Cyborg watching me. _

"_Hey, Rae clumsy much," BB said as I passed the couch. I ignored him and headed up the floor to Robin's room. When I reached his room, I knocked, but heard nothing. I knocked again, and heard a grunt. Thinking that meant he was still asleep I opened the door manually, and stopped dead in my tracks. Oh, he was in bed, but he sure as hell wasn't asleep. There he was and I watched as he kissed Starfire's neck, as she clutched his back. _

"_Robin, it's coming," I heard her whisper and I knew they were in the middle of having sex. I heard him moan her name and I shut the door quietly before rushing away, out of the tower and out of the town. _

That was an hour ago, and now I realize how stupid I was to believe I even had a chance.

As I took my third step, I saw Robin's face and how I had come to love him. He was everything I had wanted, everything I had needed.

Fourth step; but now everything had changed. One more step, and I would be dead.

As I took that final step, I thought one thing; I'm sorry. I felt myself step into mid air and I fell….but someone grabbed my hand jerking me to a stop. I had not time to fight it before I was pulled over the ledge, onto someone's body. I laid there in silence, as the person under me breathed hard and long.

"Who," I whispered not looking up out of the persons chest. I heard a mechanical laugh and someone grabbed my chin forcing me to look up.

"You should really watch where you step jewel," the man said. I gasped as I was looking at the mask; on it were a skull and a red x…..


	2. In the Arms of A Theif

**Hey, I got two chaps up at once! Wahoo lol r&r PLEASE? **

**Disclaimer: Heaven's I wish :P**

"Red X," I questioned, thinking I was dreaming. He laughed and I flinched at how close we were.

"The one and only, Jewel," he said in his so cocky demeanor. I shook my head and stood up off of him slightly disgruntled. He stood up gracefully, in one motion.

"What do you want," I demanded placing my hands on my hip, holding back my tears I have been fighting all morning. I felt his shock coming in through my empathy.

"What no thank you? I just saved your life," he said loosing his entire normal joking manner. I balled my hands into fist, fighting the oncoming anger.

"It wasn't yours to save!" I said. He looked at me as if I was crazy and cocked his head to the side.

"Hey, it isn't my fault you made a mistake," he said pointing a finger at me accusingly. I threw up my hands at his comment and my hood fell off.

"It wasn't a mistake," I growled out. This shocked him more so, for he stumbled back a step.

"So, what, you were going for a swim off of a freaking giant cliff? You do realize jewel, that that would have killed you," he said in a laughing tone until he saw the shame look come over my face. "Wait, were you trying to kill yourself, Raven?" He had barely whispered the words, but they reached my sensitive ears and I turned my head from his view.

"What's it to you what I do or don't do with my life," I whispered as well, not trusting myself to be louder. I felt rather then heard him take a few steps forward, coming within a few feet of me.

"I didn't want the world to be ridden of the most beautiful and valuable jewel," he said tenderly touching my shoulder. I flinched from his touch and backed up.

"It is not your business what goes on in my life, nor is it everyone else's," I said setting my hard gaze on his mask.

"So, you run when things get tough? Did you and your little bird boy boyfriend get in a fight," he asked crossing his arms. I felt unbearable rage run through my veins and I put my hands on his chest and shoved.

"He is not my boyfriend!" He barely moved; I moved more then him. I heard X scoff and shake his head.

"You know, you can't lie to me. It's so obvious you like him," he said turning his head to watch the sunset. I turned my head as I felt the tears stronger.

"It doesn't matter how I feel….he chose her. He lied to me and then fucking chose her," I screamed as a distant tree blew up. I dropped to my knees and put my head in my hands. "I am so weak. I am letting one dumb ass boy ruin my life. I want to die to end this pain. I am so freaking weak." I let the tears role quietly, but I could feel my body shaking.

"You're not weak, Raven," I heard X say before an arm was placed around my shoulders. "You are the strongest person I know. After everything you have been through, as a half demon, the end of the world, you still fight and fight. You have the courage to go out here everyday and risk your life for this city, for the people in it. You are strong. You can make it through his stupid decision. If he was smart, he would have seen what a beautiful, strong, independent woman he had in his life. He would have chosen you."

As the tears came stronger, I put my arms tentatively around him. I felt him freeze, before he pulled me closer and let me cry in his shirt.

"Hush, jewel. It's going to be ok, sshh," he said slightly rocking me in his arms, rubbing my back. The tears started to slow and I leaned back to look at him. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over my cheek catching the tears. I shivered as a gust of wind came.

"Why….why did you say all those things," I whispered wrapping my arms around myself. The wind continued and I shivered again.

"Come on jewel, let's get you home before you get sick," he said standing up with me in his arms. I watched as he pulled me to him, and then pressed a button on his belt. I felt like my stomach went completely flat, but when I opened my eyes again, I was in my dark room. I stumbled from X's grip and fell on the bed.

"Aahh. I am never transporting again," I groaned holding my stomach with one hand and my head in the other.

"Sorry Jewel," he chuckled sitting on the bed beside me. "I should have warned you, but you get used to it." I nodded and the nauseas feeling passed and I fell back on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before looking over at X.

"You know, I haven't cried in years, and I cried over him," I whispered. "I had told him my feelings a week ago and he had kissed me. He said he had to choose, but he would tell me his choice before he did anything about it." I fingered the soft purple bedspread and X nodded.

"Is that what you meant when you said he lied to you," he asked and I felt that he actually cared.

"Yeah, it is. Cyborg had told me this morning Robin had went to ask out Star last night. I was hurt, immensely, and went to talk to Robin," I said my voice getting lower, tears jutting to my eyes.

"What happened," he asked prodding me to keep going.

"I walked in on them in the same bed, they were…they were having sex and…and it hurt so much to hear him whisper her name….I ran and I didn't look back. It still hurts, so bad," I said my voice cracking and tears started streaming. X fell beside me and put his arms around me, and I didn't stop him. I let him hold me and I placed my head against his chest as he whispered in my ear.

"He was so wrong, Raven. He was so wrong," he said and I nodded letting quiet tears role. We were quiet for a while and I eventually fell asleep in his arms, letting the pain throw me into a deep and dark sleep….

When I awoke the next morning, the sun was shining through the open curtains and I felt weak as well as stiff. I immediately looked around for X, but all I felt was a note. I sat up and rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes before reading it.

Dear Jewel,

I am sorry to have left you, but I didn't know whether you would want me with you or not. I wanted to be there, to comfort you and dry any further tears that might have fallen from your violet orbs. Please, let me be there for you, to show you that there is more to life then that stuck up arrogant kid. Let me help you.

With love,

Red X

I smiled slightly before shaking my head. I don't remember why I had let him hold me the day before, but it had felt so good to be in his arms. I felt protected and loved, as if he had actually cared. Which, I believe he did. Why would he have saved me if he hadn't cared, even in the least? Instead of dwelling on that concept, and getting a killer headache, I grabbed a fresh leotard and cloak. I headed to my shower, which I turned to scolding hot and tried to calm my emotions. Today I would have to face the concept that Robin and Starfire were together. I winced at the picture that flashed through mind; the one of them in bed together. I could do it though, because like X said in his note, there is more then just Robin. I made a vow then as I was descending from the shower, that I would not end my life over him.

"Raven," I heard as well as a knock on the door. I sighed and clasped the clasp on my cloak.

"Yes Beast Boy," I said, trying hard to keep my monotone voice. I heard him take a deep breath before he answered.

"Well, I fixed breakfast this morning…and well I was wondering…if you might….I mean if your hungry" he babbled.

"Just spit it out," I said opening the door. He shuffled his feet and looked to the ground.

"I was wondering if you might come down to breakfast with all of us this morning," he said peaking at me form under his eyelashes. I was stunned, though I didn't show it.

"Will there be anything other than tofu," I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I fixed yall normal pancakes and eggs," he said smiling. I felt the ghost of a smile pulling at my lips and raised my hood.

"Ok, I shall join you," I said. He smiled wider and grabbed my hand, pulling me all the way to the kitchen. When we reached it, Cyborg had just sat down a cup of tea for me and Star was attempting to get Robin to try his pancakes with mustard. They looked up when I entered with BB.

"Well, I will be damned. You got my little sis to come down," Cy said smiling. I pulled back my hood and slightly smiled at him.

"As long as I have tea, and something other then tofu, I'm good," I said sitting beside him, facing Robin.

"Well, after you were gone all day yesterday, we didn't know," Beast Boy said taking a bite of his tofu. "Where were you anyway?" I shrugged as I felt everyone else's gaze on me.

"Yes Friend Raven, where were your whereabouts? Did you hear the joyous news that Robin and I are now doing the earth ritual of dating," Starfire asked grabbing Robin's hand. My heart clenched and I felt Robin look at me. I smiled anyway slightly, and nodded.

"Yeah, Star. I know and I wish yall the best of luck," I said not entirely lying. I did want it to work out between them because Star was my only girl friend. Just because Robin lied to me…doesn't mean I should take it out on her or their relationship.

"Oh, that means the world to me," she said coming to give me a hug. "I do hope you find and experience the love I have." I smiled though my heart was tearing.

"I do too," I whispered as she let go and she smiled big.

"So, where were you," Robin asked and I glanced at him slightly.

"Well… I was talking to someone," I said not entirely lying. Cyborg must have sensed I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because he spoke up.

"So, when's the winter festival," he asked, officially gaining everyone's attention. As the attention turned from me, I couldn't help but shoot a grateful smile at my brother. He nodded to me, smiling before joining the talk on the upcoming festival in two weeks, on December the 20.

I couldn't help but let my mind drift back to my attempt at suicide and Red X. He had saved me, and that along confused me, but what confused me more was his answer.

"I didn't want the world ridden of the most beautiful and valuable jewel," he had said I knew from his emotions that he was being sincere. I blew heavily in my head and thought back to what he had said about Robin choosing wrong. Could he really mean everything he had said, was he being truthfully and compassionate or just trying to break down my walls? Which, in truth he did. It had felt nice to be in his arms, to be held as I cried as he whispered soothing words and rubbed my back. Is it possible to be friends with this thief? Was it possible that I wanted to know him more? Yes, I did. He's seen me cry and I wanted to see the kid…the _man_ under the mask. I knew in all reality that it was wrong to want such things, but why should I deny it. I knew he was handsome, Azar no one could deny that he was, but was I willing to get caught while getting closer to the thief?

"Oh, Robin, I do love you so," I heard Starfire say before kissing Robin slightly on the mouth. A flashback of the morning before flashed through my mind and I knew that I wanted to see the real Red X, because when it came down to it, I believed he cared more for me then Robin himself.

After dinner, and carefully denying Starfire to join her and the boys at the "mall of shopping", I cleaned the dishes and was surprised when a plate was sat beside me.

"Hey," I turned and saw Robin standing behind me staring intently at me.

"Hello, Robin," I said in my dead and emotionless voice. I looked at him eye level and was met with his muscular chest and I bit my bottom lip. _Do not break down. Do not break down. _"I'm almost done with the dishes, so you can go ahead to the mall." I turned to finish the last dish but his hand on my arm stopped me.

"I'm not going to the mall. We need to talk," he said sternly and he pulled me toward the couch. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and pulled out of his grasp.

"Robin, I have nothing to say to you. Perhaps another time, I wish to be alone," I said turning to walk to my room. I got maybe five steps before his arm snaked around my waist, creating an unbreakable stage.

"Raven, I'm sorry. OK, I….I like her a lot and I'm sorry to disappoint you, but," he started only to be cut off by me.

"I'm not mad at you for choosing her!" I screamed whirling to face him still trapped in his arms. He had a puzzled look on his face and I felt his confusion.

"You're not? Then what is wrong with you," he said holding me tighter as I struggled in his arms.

"I'm mad because you are a freaking jerk and a damn good liar! I fucking trusted you to keep your promise, that you would tell me first. But no! I have to hear it from Cyborg and then when I try to talk to you, I walk in on you to fucking each other! Hell no Robin. I trusted you and look what you did to me. You lying, good for nothing spiky haired little bastard," I yelled and ranted until his lips crashed to mine in an earth shattering kiss. At first I was too surprised to do anything, but then I started responding with just as much enthusiasm.

"You're so hot when you're mad," he whispered before pulling me into him again. Then, reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I gasped, pushing him off with all my strength. He stumbled back and I had no time to see his expression before I teleported to my room. I changed into a pair of soft shorts and tank top before sitting on my bed, staring at the wall. What the hell, I asked myself. What am I getting myself in to? He's dating her, he fucking slept with her and he has the nerve to kiss me! Yet, I couldn't be mad because I was just so confused. I felt a pair of eyes on me and turned to see X at the window.

"I saw everything," he said and I bit my lip. He opened his arms and I jumped in them, letting out the tears that spilled over. "I know baby, its ok. Cry all you need, jewel." I heard him call me baby, but when it came down to it, I felt comforted by his words of love. So he carried me to the bed, where we laid down and he let me cry.

**Please review and I'm thinking of changing my name from iloveredx, any ideas? I was thinking of M$KED_J3W3L. Watcha think? **


	3. Confrontations

**Hey it's me! Anyway nothing to say but in this chap, Rob get's his ass handed to him on a silver platter lol. **

**Disclaimer: Nope I don't, never did and never will **

When I had cried myself dry, and taking a small three hour nap, and I was sure no more would fall, I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. X sat up too, and placed a hand on my shoulder, surprising me that he was still with me. Normally, silence was either comforting or awkward, but this silence with X was as if it was charged. I was comfortable, but at the same time I wanted to touch him again. It felt as if my shoulder was on fire under his hand.

"Hey," he said and I turned to face him fully. I smiled slightly and brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Hey yourself," I said and I noticed happy had snuck into my voice and I sounded flirty. I don't know how, but I felt X smile under the mask.

"Now, Ms. Raven, that wouldn't be a smile now would it," he said in a tone that made me want to play a little more.

"Why, of course Mr. X. I always smile when a handsome stranger is in my room," I said chuckling as I X laughed.

"Stop toying with me," he said as if he was bashful. I found myself laughing, for my control over my powers had come after the defeat of Trigon on my birthday almost two years ago. It would be two years on January 17, my 18th birthday. It was now December 6 and I have officially gained full control. I was free to express myself more, and become closer to my friends and myself. It was also the time I came to the realization that I loved, or thought I loved Robin. At that thought I sighed and ran a hand through my long violet locks.

"I don't understand," I whispered, it was barely a breath passing my lips.

"Yeah, me either. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I just feel something here and I want to know what it is," I heard X say and I nodded.

"Yeah, that might have," I started but stopped when his words registered in my brain. "Wait, what are you talking about?" X's head snapped toward me and I felt his confusion coming through my empathy.

"What are you talking about," he asked and I shook my head slightly.

"I was saying I don't understand why Robin…kissed me and called me hot," I said cocking my head side ways.

"Oh, I knew that. Probably because 1) he knows he likes you more then he let on 2) you are hot. You are beautiful, Raven," he said brushing my hair out of my shocked face. I felt a blush coming and looked away, but slightly smiled. "As for me, I was talking about…well us." I turned back to him, and studied his features.

"Yes, that is also confusing me. I'm not one to willingly take comfort, even though now that I have full control over my powers but I…. I like it when you comfort me. It feels nice," I said and I knew my cheeks were probably flamed against my ashen cheeks. X chuckled and ran a thumb over my cheek, which made me blush harder.

"And I normally don't feel sympathy for your friends. It's like when I saw you, the strong and independent one, the one that always has herself together, try to kill herself, it hurt me. It hurt me to know that you had given up so easily, and I knew that whatever Boy Blunder did, I knew that I would end up killing him for it. Trust me, I plan on letting him know what a stupid choice he made," X said the whole time staring deep in my eyes. I felt as if he could see right through me and that I could see behind his mask to the compassionate side that we, the Titans, never knew existed.

"No, you shouldn't just confront Robin, because he'll know that I've been talking to you," I said laying a hand on his knee. X swiped his hand in the air as if he was swiping away the idea.

"Don't worry, Jewel, he want know a thing," he said standing up and heading to the window.

"Wait," I said grabbing his hand. "Where are you going?" He turned to face me and pulled me into his arms, tucking my head in his chest.

"Well, I'm going to go out in town, to get Robin's attention, and when yall show up, I will defiantly voice my opinion, but he won't know how I know and I'll wait until you are threw with dinner," he said running a gloved hand through my hair. I shook my head against his chest at how he was acting.

"Why are you acting so protective all of a sudden? And you can't let Star hear you, cause she doesn't know there was a choice," I said leaning up to look in his eyes.

"Don't worry I'll get bird boy alone, and then I'll get you alone so we can pretend fight. As for your first question, I feel so much anger at Robin for what he did, that I want to kill him and I feel the need to protect you Raven. I want to," X said leaning his mask up to reveal his lips. I noticed his skin was…well not pale but not quite tan either. He had full lips that you immediately wanted to touch with your fingertips. I reached with my index finger, and ran it over his lips, tracing them.

"I don't need protecting," I mumbled but I don't believe he heard me. Surprising me, X opened his mouth and placed my finger between his teeth. I yelped and tried to break my finger free. X smiled and grabbed my hand, letting my finger go, but only to hold my hand in his.

"I know," he said leaning to kiss my forehead. I felt him take a deep breath, before sighing in my hair. He leaned his forehead to mine and I felt our breaths mingle together. I smelt and tasted chocolate and spice on his breath, as he opened his mouth to speak. "Raven, what is going on with us? Why, after two days of talking, do I feel this way?" I was surprised by his questions, and by the way my heart trembled at his voice.

"I don't know, X, but…. I like it," I stated, trying to put my thoughts into words. "For once, I feel truthfully comforted and protected. I feel….loved." I hadn't meant to say that last word out loud, but intelligence had provided me with the word to explain myself. X reached up and grabbed my face in his hands.

"Raven, you are always loved, by your friends, this city….by me," X said and I watched surprise flit across his features as he too said something fleeting and in the moment.

"X we can't," I whispered as he lowered his lips to hover above mine. X drew a steady breath and his grip tightened.

"I know," he said but didn't move. It was as if we were playing a game, who would win and pull away first, or who would be the first to give in. His breath in my mouth almost made me loose it, as I closed my eyes and slightly licked my lips. As I was about to raise my lips to his, a knock came on my door. X and I parted immediately and I blushed heavily.

"Yes," I said trying hard not to stutter. I heard X open the window behind me and I turned in time to see him jump out.

"Hey, are you coming to dinner," I heard Cyborg ask from the door. I sighed and opened the door slightly.

"No, I don't think that would be smart tonight Cyborg," I said looking up at the giant teen standing in front of me.

"Come on, Rae. BB got you out this morning and you won't come out for your own brother," he asked placing a hand on his heart. "That hurts, unless you have a certain crush on a certain fellow green teammate." I stared at him in shock before busting out laughing at the idea. Cyborg joined in laughing and grabbed my shoulder pulling me to the kitchen.

"You suck Cyborg," I said hitting his shoulder playfully. Cy smirked before turning to whisper in my ear.

"I know you fantasize about those things, but Raven I'm not gay," he said pulling back laughing at the blush on my cheeks. As we entered the kitchen BB was sitting at the table, a napkin bib, and a fork in each hand. Star was unusually happy as she practically bounced in her seat with a fork. Robin, on the other hand, was staring at the table intently. My heart panged at the sight of him, but I did my best to put on a smile and answer Cy.

"That's what you say," I said sitting in the same seat I had that morning. Cyborg laughed and threw over his shoulder, "No, that's what Bee says." I smiled and watched as he took a big pan of spaghetti out of the oven. You could see BB and Star's mouth watering and I must admit mine was moist as well. Robin, on the other hand, just sat there deep in thought.

"Yo, Rob, you want some or not man," Cyborg asked waving the serving utensil in his face. Robin's head snapped up to Cyborg.

"I'm sorry, yeah I would," he said motioning to his plate. Cyborg gave all of us pieces and I noticed he gave me a slightly bigger piece. I shot him a questioning look and he chuckled.

"Rae, you need some meat on the bones and you look like you've had a rough day," he said sitting me some milk in a glass in front of me. I nodded and laughed inwardly at our tradition of milk with Italian food.

"You don't know the half of it," I said briefly meeting glances with Robin.

After dinner, it was BB's turn for dishes, the rest of us were in the common's room when the alarm went off. Of course, I knew it was X and my stomach twisted in anticipation of seeing him again. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so damn right. Robin rushed to the computer and I surrounded myself in my black magic and I was instantly in my costume.

"Titans, trouble at the new Stark's lab down town," he said before Star picked him up and flew out the window. BB did the same with Cyborg, and I trailed behind them, pulling my special winter made cloak tighter to my body. When we reached the building, Robin spoke up through our new ear pieces he and Cyborg had invented.

"Titans, he was last spotted on the tenth floor," he said over the transmitter. The black and silver stood out contrastingly against the pink and yellow sky of the sunset behind it. As we saw a smashed out window we entered, and all landed on the floor. All of a sudden, a fist connected with the back of BB's head, rendering him unconscious for a healthy amount of time. I'm guessing he wasn't looking to damage them today, just get rid of them.

"Titans GO!" I rolled my eyes at the same battle cry we have had for years. Cyborg's red eye went darker as he fired the sonic cannon at Red X, hitting him square in the chest. I winced as Cyborg screamed a boo-yah in the air as I fought against myself to help X as Star went to throwing beams at him.

"You will not harm more of my friends," she screamed and I felt X smirk as he did a back-flip and pressed a button only to end up behind Cyborg. He pressed an x to his back and Cy fell with an audible thud.

"Looks like I just did," X said as Star landed beside Robin and I floated further into the scene. "Well, what do we have here? A choice gone bad?" Star of course cocked her head in confusion, but Robin roared in anger and charged at X.

"What do you know," he asked as he took his bow-staff and aimed for X's shoulder. X brought his x swords up and they clashed against the staff.

"Oh, Boy Blunder, I don't believe you want me to answer that while your Tameranian (did I spell this right?) Chick's in the room," X whispered to Robin so low that Star couldn't hear. With my demon hearing, I hear though and I picked up on X's anger. "I'm not ready for you yet bird boy, so wait your turn." He spoke loud this time and he threw Robin back and brought a foot up to knock him out momentarily. Star then went after X.

"Boyfriend Robin," she screamed and I winced. X saw this, and turned to Starfire hitting her over the head and gluing her to the wall. She struggled before he shocked her with something, causing her to black out as well. X turned to me and then looked at Robin who was stirring.

"Pretend to fight me, we need to get out of this room," X whispered and I nodded. I picked up a desk adjacent to me and threw it at him which he dodged and ran out of the room. I went after him, and heard Robin stumble after me, seeing is how he just woke. I followed X into the stairwell and he turned throwing a small x at me. Knowing it was a bomb, I dodged it and just in time for Robin to come in the door.

"Now, Bird brain, I'm ready to talk," X said crossing his arms. I knew where this would lead and stood in between him and Robin tense.

"I don't want to talk X," Robin growled getting out a bird-rang. X clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"You really don't think about what you say, do you? Oh, that's right you don't, because if you did, you would realize how fucking stupid you are for choosing Starfire over Raven!" X's voice had lowered dangerously low and he was basically growling through his teeth. Robin growled and clenched his fist tight.

"You don't know what you're talking about! You don't know," Robin screamed throwing the weapon at X. I was standing directly in its path, as Robin got clumsy when he was mad. So I moved just in time, but it still scraped my arm. I hissed and grabbed it glaring at Robin from under my hood.

"See, every time you turn around you hurt her. It is so obvious you like her, and that she likes you, but you chose the clueless one. I bet you chose her because you think she'll let you boss her around. The truth is, Robin, you are just so scared of how things would go between you and Raven because you know she wouldn't let you have your way in everything. You're scared of someone fighting you back, but you want to know the truth kid," X asked taking a step closer to me.

"What," Robin hissed also taking a step closer. I could feel the tension and I knew I could have cut it with a knife. X took out a large blade from his belt and pointed it at Robin.

"You don't deserve her. You don't deserve this woman that is probably the best you will ever meet. YOU don't deserve the love that she has for you. Dammit kid, you don't even deserve to lust after her like I KNOW you do. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LOOK AT HER AGAIN," X screamed lunging at Robin with the knife. His knife came down on Robin's staff but cut clear through it.

"Shut up! She is mine," Robin screamed and threw down his staff and physically attacked X. X froze at his words before growling and throwing down the knife.

"YOU WILL NEVER HAVE HER," he screamed lunging at Robin. I watched in a daze as those two fought and screamed about me. They fought for a good ten minutes before X got the upper hand and ran Robin's head into a wall, knocking him out for a good long time. X's breathing was rapid, and I watched as his chest fell up and down.

"X," I whispered putting a hand on his back. He stiffened before relaxing and turned to pull me in a hug. I started to ask him a question, but he put a hand over my mouth.

"Follow me," he whispered in my ear before taking my hand and leading me to up the stairs. We walked the stairs for a long while, hand in hand, and I must admit that it felt comforting to me and I enjoyed it. When we reached the last floor he went behind me and wrapped his hands over my eyes. "Trust me," he whispered as I started to shake. I nodded and he led me out onto the top of the building. I smelled the sweet scents of nature around me and I smiled as I heard nothing but our breathing.

"X, what are we doing up here," I asked quietly not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I wanted you to see what I see every time I look at you," he said removing his hand. I gasped as I looked upon the most beautiful scene I had ever seen. The sun was just setting over the water in the horizon and it was so gorgeous and peaceful. We watched the sun descend in a minute and I turned to see X watching me.

"It's beautiful," I remarked and X nodded.

"Yes, Jewel it is, but I'd rather watch you, the woman of beauty," he whispered reaching up to caress my cheek without his glove on. I leaned into his touch and I sighed as he leaned to kiss me between the eyes.

"We shouldn't," I whispered closing my eyes.

"I know," he said kissing my nose.

"It's wrong." He kissed my cheek.

"But, Raven, it's right." He kissed my jaw.

"Then….kiss me," I whispered and he nodded lowering his lips to mine. They touched, ever so slightly, but in that one moment, my whole life changed. I pulled back, but only to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. I kissed his lips with a passion that surpassed anything I ever felt for Robin. His tongue licked along my lower lip and I opened my mouth, not used to the tongue. It felt weird as it entered my mouth, but I moaned as I started sliding mine against his. His hands gripping my waist, he ran one to my thigh, hitching it around his right hip. As the kiss ended, he whispered in my ear one question.

"Meet me?" I nodded and tried to refrain myself from kissing him again. "Tonight, midnight at the park?"

"Ok," I whispered and pulled him in for another kiss. This time he pushed me back gently before kissing my forehead.

"I am sure your friends will awake soon, jewel. For now, we must stop," he whispered pulling his mask back down all the way. I nodded and stepped from his embrace.

"Until tonight, X," I said before teleporting back to where Robin laid unconscious. I then teleported us to the room with the others, and Cyborg was just waking up.

"Dude what happened to him," he asked standing up and taking a look around.

"Red X kicked his ass basically. I chased X up to the roof, but I lost him," I lied effortlessly. Cyborg nodded, not believing his little sister would lie. I sighed and teleported all of us to the tower.

_Around ten o'clock_

We have been home about an hour. Everyone had waken and we all, minus Cyborg, were all watching TV. I was desperately trying not to look at the clock every five minutes wanting to go see X so bad. I was craving his touch, lusting for his kiss, and fighting myself not to listen to rational thought about how wrong we were being. All of a sudden Cyborg came through the door with a perplexed look on his face.

"What's wrong Cyborg," Robin asked and I rolled my eyes. I was getting tired of hearing him today. When we go home, he had wanted to talk, but I had refused. Especially after that who thing where he told X I was his!

"I was just checking the security tapes from the fight and I found the weirdest thing on the tapes from the stairwell and the roof," he said looking at me briefly. My heart sink and I froze. There were cameras on the roof? Where we had kissed? My mouth went dry as Cyborg opened his mouth to explain…..

**Ok, listen. I know I may sound petty, but can I at least get 3 reviews before I decide on the next chapter. I enjoy those of you who put me on their fav stories of on the story alert, but I feel that yall have things to say that can help and criticize me. Helping me become a better writer. **** I STRIVE TO PLEASE MY READER SO PLEASE I NEED HELP! LOLOLOLOL THANX. Much love 3 **

***Rae***


	4. Revelations

**Yes REAL short but read the bottom note**

**Nope, not mine**

"I think I should talk to Robin about this," he said and my heart went faster. It was beating oddly, going into my fight or flight mode. "And Raven." My eyes widened slightly, and my legs itched to run. I fought myself, fought my emotions that said to scream. Would he tell Robin of the kiss, would he possibly do that to me? "Now." He turned and walked out the door, leaving me and Robin to follow. I spared a glance at Robin, before walking out the door.

"I'll be right back," I heard Robin whisper to Starfire. I didn't spare a glance at them, I just walked forward. I was cowering, though I hated to admit it. When I reached the door to the security room, my head was in the effectiveness of my hood. Cyborg was facing us, arms crossed over the metal plate that covers his chest. His eyes displayed nothing, but I could sense his hurt, anger, and confusion. Robin came in a minute later, he made no sound but his emotions were screaming; anger, worry, and most of all, self-hate. When Cyborg saw him, I felt anger spike.

"So what is this about Cyborg, I would like to get back to Star," he said and I clenched my fist in my cape. Was that really all he cared about? Is he so stupid? I flinched away from him. In this moment Cyborg was the leader, not Robin. Cyborg was the one wanting to get to the bottom of this, not Robin. Cyborg was the one with worry etched in his features as he looked at me.

"Oh, so now you want Star," Cyborg asked, sarcasm screaming through. I felt Robin tense and come to all seriousness.

"I don't know what you are referring to," he said crossing his arms across his tensed chest. Cyborg snorted while laughing without humor.

"Drop the pretend act Robin. I am no where near as dense as everyone else. I know that you and Raven have something in between you two. I know that promise you made her then broke. I know everything Robin. What I want to know is why you still call her yours in front of Red X?" The tension was so thick I am sure a knife would have a precise cut.

"So you wanted me to hand her over to a horny arrogant basterd," Robin asked. Cyborg let a slight growl through his teeth but nothing held mine back.

"Horny? Arrogant? The only basterd I even know is the one standing beside me," I said whirling in a circle, my cape fallen off my head. "If you think you can have everything you want boy wonder then you are sadly mistaken. I swear to Azar if you ever lay another hand on me I will not even think second about telling Starfire. She deserves more then a lying cheating fucking moron who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself! I hope you rot in hell you oversized spiky-hair, asshole!" I watched as Cyborg's mouth dropped about a mile and Robins fist were shaking, itching to hit something. He said nothing but turned an stomped out the door.

"Raven…" I held my hand up and sat down against the wall.

"Look I think I know what you saw…and if you saw what I think you did, then I don't give a fuck right now who you tell," I said feeling like a weight was put on my shoulders as i attempted to get up. After a failed attempt, I sat there, and listened to the beating of the screen.

"Raven, I don't want to tell anyone, but I must know what is going on between you and X." I sighed and leaned my head against the wall.

"Truthfully, even I don't know the answer to that, but…he saved my life Cyborg. Do I not owe him the benefit of the doubt," I asked really asking myself.

What do you mean…he saved your life Rae," he asked and I could tell what he had in mind.

"I tried to die Cyborg. I wanted death to end my pain and he…he saved me when Robin left me to rot… I owe him something Cyborg and right now we are working something out," I said pulling my knees close to my body. Cyborg sat beside me and I leaned on his shoulder.

"Do you…do you love him Rae?"

**Yes its short but I want yall to answer that question. Do you think she should feel love now or later? Also got any ideas I may use? Please answer **** thanks**


	5. continue?

**Hello to all the wonderful subscribers and readers of my stories. I have indeed returned from the dead…. Nah just kidding. I have hit a depression over the past year and just didn't think none of my stories were good enough for all of you so I stopped writing all together. Lately I've noticed how tense and angry I've been so I started thinking maybe I should write again… so I have posted this on all my stories wondering… do you believe I should finish these stories? And if so, I need ideas. As for "My Kiss Is Home", if I get enough answers I will redo the whole ending on how it should have been done in the first place. Please let me know. I am sorry for my absence, but if you give me a chance I promise I will make up for it… **

**~~~Rae~~~**


	6. IM REALLY BACK

**OKAY EVERYONE! I AM BACK AND WILL SLOWLY BEGIN WRITING AGAIN. IF YOU ARE READING MY Inuyasha FANFIC PLEASE REREAD CHAP 1 WITH THE NEW VERSION. I WILL DO A SEQUAL TO MY KISS IS HOME AND I WILL FINSISH THE OTHERS. PLEASE PM ME WITH OPINIONS AND HELP.**


	7. Date Night

**I am so sorry for the beyond late update. I do hope you all will forgive me and…give me a chance? Please review and pm me ideas. Tell me does this actually fit with the rest of the story?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything :c**

At first I believe I have heard Cyborg wrong, that the idea of me possibly loving him was ridiculous, but then I begin to think. Love….that's a complicated word. Love is not something a dictionary can define, not exactly. There are so many types of love; brotherly love, friend love and then there is the soul mate love. Then, there is always a relationship that is on that fine line, between friend and lover. Robin and I were on the line, although I hate to admit it, but we were. For years we could have went either way. I sometimes wondered before I recognized my feelings for him if it was a possibility.

"Raven, you ok," I heard Cyborg call out of my reverie. I turn to him with a slight smile and nod.

"Cyborg… I honestly don't know if I love him…I know there is attraction. I know there is _something_. But I do not think it is love." I take a deep breath letting it out in a sigh. "At least…not yet. I believe that this, X and I, could have something."

The more I think about it, the more the idea warms me. I feel a smile cross my face as the thought of waking up every morning knowing that he would be mine…it made a feeling in my stomach flutter greater then any little butterflies I felt for Robin.

"Well, Rae, I guess we'll see where this leads us, right," Cyborg asks and I look to him biting my lip, a nervous habit.

"You…you wont tell him will you?" Cyborg scoffs and smirks.

"Me? Tell that asshole? Hell no," he smiles hugging me.

I couldn't help but smile at my big brother's actions toward his used to be friend, but then I scolded myself. In some ways I was tearing this team apart, and I have a feeling my relationship wouldn't help things out. I glanced at the clock and nearly gasped, for it was already eleven thirty. I stand up in one swift movement, the grace a dancer, the danger of a demon.

"Cyborg, I have to go," I say, I running a hand through my greasy hair and sigh. "I'm going to need a shower before I leave and I have thirty minutes before I have to meet..." I let my voice trail off and I realized much too late I had said too much. He eyed me in a scrutinizing way he does when he knows I'm withholding information. I laugh nervously and back away biting my lip yet again.

"Raven, I know you are holding it back. Who are you meeting tonight," he asked standing as well. I sigh to myself and smile to Cyborg.

"I'm going to meet X tonight," I whisper softly. His eyes watch mine calculating before nodding slowly. I guess Cyborg really did except this, I thought to myself.

"Okay Rae. Please be careful and if you need anything call me… if you are not back by two I will come find you!" He laughed as he said this and pulled me into a soft hug. Hugging back I smiled to myself at my big brother's antics. After saying goodbye, I turned to make my way to my room. I avoid Robin and the others at all cost. Since it is late at night though, most had gone to bed. Entering my room I head straight for the shower. Quickly showering I walk into my room contemplating what to wear. Rummaging through my closet, I pick out a soft satin shirt and simple jeans. I pull on the black jeans and the purple shirt before putting on light eye shadow and lip gloss. I smile at myself in the mirror, nervously fiddling with my fingers. _Please, Azar, let this night go beautifully, _I whisper to myself before flying out the window.

I landed on the soft green grass of the park. Looking around, I went and sat at the beautiful glow in the dark fountain. I let my finger trace along the top of the water as I wait for him. A few minutes later I had the crunch of footsteps. I turned around expecting to see Red X but didn't. Who I did see was beautiful however. He was tall, easily over six foot. He was wearing jeans with holes in the knees and a dark red shirt. He had long black hair tied at the nape of his neck. Upon stepping closer I could see his Native American descent evident in his smooth tan skin and chocolate brown eyes.

"Hello, Jewel," he whispered. I blushed brightly knowing he could see me checking him out.

"X?" I questioned stupidly and blushed again looking down. He laughed as he moved forward and cupped my cheeks.

"Call me Jake." I looked up into his eyes, my blush lightly fading.

"Jake," I whispered letting his name roll off my tongue. He flashed me a wide smile before bringing his lips down to peck mine. I sighed happily, my guard of a cold girl already crumbling to reveal the blossoming of a woman. He took my hand in his and led me to the South end of the park. "Where are we going," I questioned as we walked along the path. His smile grew as we arrived to see a red Mustang parked on the street. I could feel the excitement kicking in at the thought of driving fast down the highway.

"Well…do you dance," he asked opening the door for me and laughing at my stricken expression at his question. He climbed in beside me and started the car. I almost sighed at the thrum of the leather against my skin. "Well?" I shot a glance at him blushing.

"No, I don't really dance…well I haven't before. I have never tried." I blushed confessing it to him. He smiled and reached to tenderly touch my hand.

"Will you please try?" I looked up to him and nodded tentatively. His smile widens and he continues driving. Once we arrived outside a warehouse, he helps me out of the car. I could already hear the music pumping from inside and my nerves began to kick in.

"Jake," I whispered questioningly as we passed the multi-colored people standing in line. He patted my hand assuring me and walked right up to the door. The man standing there smiled and wordlessly let us in. Immediately the smell of sweat and alcohol hit my nose. "There's alcohol here."

"Yes…. I hope that does not bother you. This club has been here for a while…" He let his sentence linger and I bit my lip thinking. As he opened the curtains I was dumbstruck. In the center of the room was a large dance floor packed tightly with bodies and strobe lights. Alone the walls were red velvet couches and booths set up that were littered with couples drinking or kissing. Along one wall, however, was a bar set up nearly the whole length of the large wall.

"How do we not know of this place," I questioned eyes wide. He laughs under his breathing leading me to a booth.

"Well, it is very much on the down low. Besides… why would the police about underage kids drinking when Slade is out there?" He has a point, I thought to myself as we took a seat. Upon sitting a waiter came up to take our drink order. "Give me a shot of whiskey," Jake told the man with a grin at my shocked expression. The waiter nodded and turned to me.

"And you miss?" I bit my lip hard thinking of what to do. I was only 18 and I was a cop for Azar's sake! Looking at the group of people dancing I gulped as my nerves kicked back in.

"I'll have the same," I mumble quickly earning a shocked look from Jake. The man nodded and walked off leaving us alone. "I need this… I am too nervous." I explained to him and he smiled reaching across the table to hold my hand. "Just watch me because I have never been drunk."

"Raven…. Its okay." He smiles and squeezes my hand just as our drinks arrive. I grabbed the glass nervously and tentatively sipped it. I coughed a little as the burning liquid slid down my throat. I watched as Jake expertly took his shot down easily. I glared, my competitive side kicking in, and shot mine back too attempting to not cough. I shivered as the warm feeling begin to spread through my body. Grinning, Jake ordered another round causing me to smile. "So while we are waiting, would you like to know about myself?" I nodded with a smile scooting to his side and relaxing. He then begin to tell me about his past. He was adopted early in his childhood after his mother died of an overdose. He lived in an orphanage until he was 9 when he was adopted by a couple that were unable to bare children. He lived happily with them and began taking piano lessons and karate lessons. They died when he was 17 in an car accident leaving him a fortune.

"So why do you steal," I asked feeling brave after three shots of whiskey. I ordered a margarita to the passing waiter before turning back to Jake. He had a look of contemplation on his face.

"I think I steal to… be rebellious. I had always been the good kid…but when God took my parents from me, I wanted to get away. I wanted to do something wrong and now…well I am good at it. I do not keep the money but give it most to charity. The other 25% or so I do keep." I looked at him and bit my lip.

"So, you do it for the thrill?" He grinned then and I could easily see the cocky, badass thief I was on a date with. I felt his arm wrap around me suddenly. "What about you?" He questioned. I proceeded to tell him about my family. I told him of my mother, Trigon, the end of the world. He sat listening and drinking as I told him the mission of the end of the world. "Damn the bastard does love you," he mumbled as I finished. I shot him a look. "He faced hell to save you Raven… Robin loves you." I looked away unable to meet his eyes and gulped.

"I don't even care," I whispered under my breath. "He has blew his chance with me." I said and wanting to change the subject, grabbed his hand dragging him to the dance floor. He grinned again and grabbed my hips.

"Just go with it," he whispered in my ear slowly beginning to move his hips. Letting the motions, and the alcohol, take over I began moving my hips. I sighed at how good it felt to be so close to him, my body fitting perfectly with his. After a few songs, the movements came naturally. I got so bold I turned my back to him and began grinding in a very un-Raven like way as BB would call it. Jake began kissing my neck and running his hands up my sides creating butterflies in my stomach. I turned to face him, the alcohol running through my system, and hooked my arms around his neck pulling his lips eagerly to him. I felt him shiver and grab me closely kissing me desperately. After a few seconds of this he took my hand and led me outside.

"Where are we going," I whispered tripping as the world started spinning. He sat me up on the hood of the car and began kissing me hard, pressing his body to mine completely. I gasped into his mouth before responding to him eagerly, wrapping my arms around his neck happily. Using his hair as leverage I pull him closer to me, melding our lips together. Suddenly we are broken apart by the ringing of my SAT phone. "Shit!" I cursed digging it out of my pocket. I put the phone to my ear shaking lightly, Jake's eyes locked on my lips as I talk.

"Hello," I questioned.

"Raven? I was about to shut down for the night. Are you okay?" I heard Cyborg on the other end and nodded before reminding myself he can not see me.

"Yes Cy, I'm okay," I said mentally cursing myself for stuttering.

"Are you drinking," he questioned gasping.

"No! No I am not."

"Okay Rae I trust you." I winced guiltily and averted my eyes from Jake's.

"I'll be home soon. Bye." I slid my phone into my pocket, hands still shaking from the booze and nerves. I looked up to see Jake staring at me with mixed emotions.

"Are you ready to go," he questioned quietly. I bit my lip but nodded. He smiled and tenderly kissed my lips before helping me off the hood. On my descent, I slid down his body, causing a gasp to escape from my lips. Blushing I kissed him gently again. He cradled my face in his hands, tenderly kissing me. "I had a wonderful time tonight and I hope we can hang out again. Soon," he said biting his lip.

"I'd like that," I whispered kissing his lips before disappearing. Once in my room I began stripping down, stumbling into bed in my panties and a tank top. Right before sleep overtook me, I heard a thud and looked to see Jake with his pajamas and his Red X belt. "What are you doing here," I questioned sitting up.

"I missed you…" he drifted off and climbed into bed with me, brushing his arms against my skin. Shivering as I wrapped my arm around his waist and smiled happily. He lifted my chin and began kissing me deeply pulling me against him by my waist. I sighed happily and felt him run his hands down my curves.

"Jake," I whispered nervously grabbing his hand and he chuckled kissing my head.

"Goodnight, Jewel." I smiled up at him.

"Goodnight, Jake." I laid my head on his chest, over his heart, and fell into a dreamless peaceful sleep.


End file.
